Last night I had one of those stressful dreams where I am waiting tables and I can't do anything right, not even remember a drink order. Fun! It was kind of weird, though, because I was waiting tables at the restaurant where I currently work (but I'm a bookkeeper here, not a waitress) and yet all of my co-workers were people from my days at the Olive Garden. Silly smooshed-up brain!
I feel bad because I haven't written anything on here in a while, but I don't really have much of anything to say. It's been a boring month, with just work and watching the debates and reading celeb gossip blogs. I did buy a new laptop because my old one, well, basically it was a POS and nothing worked on it anymore, and now I can't even get it to stay on long enough to get all of my old files off of it. So I've kind of lost about 3000 songs that I had purchased and/or downloaded and I have started over from scratch with the importing and the downloading. Exciting stuff! I knew I didn't want that stupid computer, but for some reason my Dad and Stepmom really wanted me to have a laptop. IDGI! LOLZ. Ok, sorry, i've been reading too much Dlisted/BestWeekEver/LiveJournal lately.
It is nice that the new tv season has begun, so that has been pretty distracting, along with all of the political and economic stuff. I mean, the whole economic issue hasn't really affected me in any way (yet), but my grandfather did lose about half of his money. So that sucks.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
TL;DR
I try to avoid posting too much about politics on here because I have a lot of friends and family that feel differently, and I don’t want to offend them or cause any awkwardness the next time I see them in person. I mean, I’ve never made a secret of who I support, but I don’t usually post blogs about why I am a liberal or my stances on the issues or anything so specific. But I’ve been offended by a lot of things lately (actually, not just lately, for at a minimum the past eight years, and, let’s be honest, long before that, too) and as an adult, a woman, a citizen, as someone who wants the best for my own future and the future of this country and the REST OF THE WORLD, ALSO, I feel the need to explain myself so that I don’t have to play nice or coy anymore. I can just point to this blog for people to read if they have questions or criticisms, and hopefully we can discuss it from there.
This year I will be voting for Barack Obama. I had reservations about him when he first ran, and I still have some. I voted for Hillary Clinton in the primary, and I was excited (and am still excited) to be alive and of voting age in such an extraordinary election year. I was excited that there was an intelligent, liberal, strong woman who had a decent chance. It didn’t happen, so I turned my attention and research to Obama and McCain.
Eight years ago, I felt truly disappointed that Bush beat McCain in the primaries. I wouldn’t have voted for him in the general election because I was a Gore supporter (and if living in Florida during that election hasn’t disillusioned me, I hope nothing will), but he seemed like one of those rare Republicans, rare politicians really, who didn’t toe the party line because he actually used his heart and his gut and wanted to do what he thought was right. Now he has had to turn his back on almost everything he once stood for in order to win the Republican primary, and that still wasn’t really good enough. He had to go and pluck Sarah Palin out of basically political thin air to cement conservative support.
You guys didn’t like Kerry when he was a “flip-flopper”? Oh, but it’s okay when it’s YOUR Vietnam vet who has done a 180 on a bunch of issues. Bullshit. Also, let’s not forget that McCain is 72 years old. It is not very far out of the realm of possibility that this man could die within the next four years, and then Sarah Palin would be the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! Are you freaking kidding me?!
Listen, people. It’s never going to be the 1950s EVER AGAIN. NEVER. Deal with it. There are a lot of very good reasons we don’t live that way anymore. People of color, women, homosexuals, non-Christians, people who weren’t strict adherents to capitalism, but who WERE citizens of this country were not SAFE here in that period. Still aren’t, but we’ve made a lot of strides since then. In case you’ve forgotten we are ALL supposed to be guaranteed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Not just white Christian men, who have not exactly been the most responsible people in the world with those things, anyway.
Freedom of religion isn’t the right to go hauling the ten commandments around and sticking them up on the wall anywhere you want. Guess what? Christians aren’t the only taxpayers in America. And as long as that’s true, you need to keep your religion in your church and in your home and THAT’S IT. “Well, the founding fathers were Christians blah blah….” Um, No. They weren’t actually. They were Deists. If you don’t know what that is, look it up in something like an Encyclopaedia Britannica, and not in some “book” you got at the Christian bookshop. They also had slaves, and they also were raping them. So, as great as they were, they weren’t perfect people, not even perfect “Christians.” No one is. If you don’t want me to bring up the fact that Sarah Palin’s daughter is pregnant at 17 because no one bothered to teach her about the many forms of birth control she could have been using (not just to prevent pregnancy, but also to prevent DISEASE), then you shouldn’t have hounded Clinton for eight years about him cheating on his wife. If things are PERSONAL, then try to be consistent about it. And don’t try to use the fact that she hasn’t had an abortion as some sort of “right example” to other girls in the same predicament. Teen pregnancy is a big problem in this country, and so is crime, and so is pollution, and so is poverty, and so is OVERPOPULATION. In fact, those are all big problems around the world, especially that last one. You know why? Because abstinence-only education DOES NOT WORK! It doesn’t work here, and it doesn’t work in Africa, and it doesn’t work anywhere else.
What do Republicans propose to do about these issues? Basically, pretend they don’t exist, or that they aren‘t real, or that things are just “theory.” Look, you can’t just throw a Bible at someone and pretend it will solve all their myriad problems. They’ve been trying that same thing with the Koran over in the Middle East, and look how well that has been going! You can believe in whatever you want, I don’t care as long as it doesn’t involve human or animal sacrifice or something, but don’t try to tell ME that because the Bible said God created Adam and Eve and you guys got together and calculated it, that the Earth is only a few thousand years old despite what every LEGITIMATE scientist in the world has taught us about dinosaurs and evolution. Same goes for global warming.
“But the Bible is God’s word….“ How the fuck do you know?! If there is a God, He or She proably wasn’t doing mundane crap like writing out rules and shit for humans back then. When is the last time God actually talked to you and told you to write something down? Did you tape this exchange? No? Then I don’t buy it. (Actually, even if you did tape it, I probably wouldn’t buy it.) He may or may not have sent Christ to try to wake us up to some of the inconsistent and hypocritical ways people were and still are treating one another. If you consider yourself a Christian, you should try to remember the things CHRIST ACTUALLY SAID. And, guess what? He was a human, too, and he was also imperfect, and he was also inconsistent. Same goes for his disciples, and for all of the other HUMANS who actually wrote the Bible. Inconsistent and imperfect, and at least one or two downright crazy, people wrote things down about their religious experiences that some other human decided was worth sticking together and using as a way of controlling his subjects.
But Christ was one other thing--PROGRESSIVE. He CHANGED the world, tried to move it forward and help it be better. He didn’t come down and say, “You know what? In about 1,950 years there is gonna be this awesome way of life, and we should NEVER EVER EVER CHANGE IT!” Believe me, I have four different Bibles, and I checked them all. I even have a Book of Mormon (don‘t ask how or why), and he didn’t say that to them, either.
The founding fathers? They were pretty progressive, as well. Abraham Lincoln was also convinced that REAL progress was necessary. Not to mention tons of other people who have helped hold this country and its government to account for what we are SUPPOSED to be. We aren’t supposed to be a nation of small towns who all believe the same thing. We are supposed to accept and find a way to live with people who disagree with us about religion or sex (as long as it’s between consenting adults) or whatever.
The world is so complicated, so much more than I ever thought, and there are so many things we don’t even know or fathom that happen to women and children, and yes, men, too, every day. I don’t want to pretend it isn’t true. I don’t want to pretend that if everyone were the same religion, or had the same “values” that all these things would stop, or that the world would be an easier place to live. It will never be easy. That just isn’t the human condition.
This election is supposedly also about change. Republicans have not only been in charge of the White House for the last eight years, but, up until two years ago, they were also in charge of Congress for 12 of the last 14 years. What kind of change is McCain promising to bring? None that I can see, unless you want to continue to change the meaning of this country from something hopeful to an international joke, a bully.
Last week we had an anniversary of a terrible day. I live in New York City, and not that that gives me any sort of additional insight, but what happened seven years ago didn’t make the people here all agree to live to the same morals and standards, and decide to stop being open to new ideas and discussion. It just didn’t. Because that isn’t what New York is about, and it really isn’t what America or LIFE IN GENERAL is about. If anything, it made us value the fact that our society CAN live with so many differences of opinion. We do a lot of things right. Why do we want to go back on that?
Some of the reasons that we even experienced such a horrible day are rooted in things that we have done in other countries to try to force our values on people who don’t want them, people who don’t have the luxury of having a lot of intangible values. Why can’t we live and let live? Why is that so hard? Sometimes war is necessary, of course, and sometimes there is actually a point to the conflict and rarely, it actually makes a difference in the long term. The war in Iraq is not now and never has been in any of those categories. It is a war that was fought for the profit of oil companies who are sucking this country dry.
Republicans have been using religion, and fear, and racism, and sexism and lies to keep us ignorant and divided. It is to their benefit to prevent progress because that is the only way they can continue to get away with all of the crap they pull economically. Did that tax cut in 2001 benefit you for very long? How about the check you got this year? How far did that go? The reason we are not recovering from what would be a regular cyclical downturn in the economy is because of all the trillions of dollars we have spent in Iraq. And who benefits from that? Don’t kid yourself, because unless you suddenly became the CEO of Halliburton, it ain’t you.
The more they remind you of the ways we are different, the more you forget how we are all really the same. Everyone just wants to live their lives to the fullest, to pursue what makes them happiest. Love, education, friends, a career, whatever it takes. Aren’t you doing that? Am I running into your house telling you what positions you can and can’t have sex in? How many kids you should have? Which God to believe in? How to prepare your dinner? No. Because I don’t care. I’m happily over here doing whatever the hell I want, and I don’t care what you’re doing, as long as you are doing it honestly and happily.
Barack Obama represents positive progress to me. Actual change. And I hope he fulfills his promise. And I hope that you and I and the US and the world benefit from it. I want a better system for health care. I want diplomacy to be the first thing we try, not the first thing we toss out! I want children to get better education because one day they will be adults and will be trying to run things, and trying to compete with people from countries who have already realized how important education is! I want young people to stop getting killed so men like Dick Cheney can line their pockets and buy their wives fur coats, when everyone else in the country is trying to budget around how expensive gas is now!
I guess it comes down to something everyone’s “hero” Ronald Reagan once asked. Are you better off today than you were eight or four years ago? Is anyone you know? If the answer is no, then put your money where your mouth is and vote for Obama.
I’m sure I have plenty of inconsistencies in here, and I welcome comments and discussion. I prefer to exchange ideas and disagreements openly. But I won’t approve anything hate-filled!
This year I will be voting for Barack Obama. I had reservations about him when he first ran, and I still have some. I voted for Hillary Clinton in the primary, and I was excited (and am still excited) to be alive and of voting age in such an extraordinary election year. I was excited that there was an intelligent, liberal, strong woman who had a decent chance. It didn’t happen, so I turned my attention and research to Obama and McCain.
Eight years ago, I felt truly disappointed that Bush beat McCain in the primaries. I wouldn’t have voted for him in the general election because I was a Gore supporter (and if living in Florida during that election hasn’t disillusioned me, I hope nothing will), but he seemed like one of those rare Republicans, rare politicians really, who didn’t toe the party line because he actually used his heart and his gut and wanted to do what he thought was right. Now he has had to turn his back on almost everything he once stood for in order to win the Republican primary, and that still wasn’t really good enough. He had to go and pluck Sarah Palin out of basically political thin air to cement conservative support.
You guys didn’t like Kerry when he was a “flip-flopper”? Oh, but it’s okay when it’s YOUR Vietnam vet who has done a 180 on a bunch of issues. Bullshit. Also, let’s not forget that McCain is 72 years old. It is not very far out of the realm of possibility that this man could die within the next four years, and then Sarah Palin would be the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! Are you freaking kidding me?!
Listen, people. It’s never going to be the 1950s EVER AGAIN. NEVER. Deal with it. There are a lot of very good reasons we don’t live that way anymore. People of color, women, homosexuals, non-Christians, people who weren’t strict adherents to capitalism, but who WERE citizens of this country were not SAFE here in that period. Still aren’t, but we’ve made a lot of strides since then. In case you’ve forgotten we are ALL supposed to be guaranteed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Not just white Christian men, who have not exactly been the most responsible people in the world with those things, anyway.
Freedom of religion isn’t the right to go hauling the ten commandments around and sticking them up on the wall anywhere you want. Guess what? Christians aren’t the only taxpayers in America. And as long as that’s true, you need to keep your religion in your church and in your home and THAT’S IT. “Well, the founding fathers were Christians blah blah….” Um, No. They weren’t actually. They were Deists. If you don’t know what that is, look it up in something like an Encyclopaedia Britannica, and not in some “book” you got at the Christian bookshop. They also had slaves, and they also were raping them. So, as great as they were, they weren’t perfect people, not even perfect “Christians.” No one is. If you don’t want me to bring up the fact that Sarah Palin’s daughter is pregnant at 17 because no one bothered to teach her about the many forms of birth control she could have been using (not just to prevent pregnancy, but also to prevent DISEASE), then you shouldn’t have hounded Clinton for eight years about him cheating on his wife. If things are PERSONAL, then try to be consistent about it. And don’t try to use the fact that she hasn’t had an abortion as some sort of “right example” to other girls in the same predicament. Teen pregnancy is a big problem in this country, and so is crime, and so is pollution, and so is poverty, and so is OVERPOPULATION. In fact, those are all big problems around the world, especially that last one. You know why? Because abstinence-only education DOES NOT WORK! It doesn’t work here, and it doesn’t work in Africa, and it doesn’t work anywhere else.
What do Republicans propose to do about these issues? Basically, pretend they don’t exist, or that they aren‘t real, or that things are just “theory.” Look, you can’t just throw a Bible at someone and pretend it will solve all their myriad problems. They’ve been trying that same thing with the Koran over in the Middle East, and look how well that has been going! You can believe in whatever you want, I don’t care as long as it doesn’t involve human or animal sacrifice or something, but don’t try to tell ME that because the Bible said God created Adam and Eve and you guys got together and calculated it, that the Earth is only a few thousand years old despite what every LEGITIMATE scientist in the world has taught us about dinosaurs and evolution. Same goes for global warming.
“But the Bible is God’s word….“ How the fuck do you know?! If there is a God, He or She proably wasn’t doing mundane crap like writing out rules and shit for humans back then. When is the last time God actually talked to you and told you to write something down? Did you tape this exchange? No? Then I don’t buy it. (Actually, even if you did tape it, I probably wouldn’t buy it.) He may or may not have sent Christ to try to wake us up to some of the inconsistent and hypocritical ways people were and still are treating one another. If you consider yourself a Christian, you should try to remember the things CHRIST ACTUALLY SAID. And, guess what? He was a human, too, and he was also imperfect, and he was also inconsistent. Same goes for his disciples, and for all of the other HUMANS who actually wrote the Bible. Inconsistent and imperfect, and at least one or two downright crazy, people wrote things down about their religious experiences that some other human decided was worth sticking together and using as a way of controlling his subjects.
But Christ was one other thing--PROGRESSIVE. He CHANGED the world, tried to move it forward and help it be better. He didn’t come down and say, “You know what? In about 1,950 years there is gonna be this awesome way of life, and we should NEVER EVER EVER CHANGE IT!” Believe me, I have four different Bibles, and I checked them all. I even have a Book of Mormon (don‘t ask how or why), and he didn’t say that to them, either.
The founding fathers? They were pretty progressive, as well. Abraham Lincoln was also convinced that REAL progress was necessary. Not to mention tons of other people who have helped hold this country and its government to account for what we are SUPPOSED to be. We aren’t supposed to be a nation of small towns who all believe the same thing. We are supposed to accept and find a way to live with people who disagree with us about religion or sex (as long as it’s between consenting adults) or whatever.
The world is so complicated, so much more than I ever thought, and there are so many things we don’t even know or fathom that happen to women and children, and yes, men, too, every day. I don’t want to pretend it isn’t true. I don’t want to pretend that if everyone were the same religion, or had the same “values” that all these things would stop, or that the world would be an easier place to live. It will never be easy. That just isn’t the human condition.
This election is supposedly also about change. Republicans have not only been in charge of the White House for the last eight years, but, up until two years ago, they were also in charge of Congress for 12 of the last 14 years. What kind of change is McCain promising to bring? None that I can see, unless you want to continue to change the meaning of this country from something hopeful to an international joke, a bully.
Last week we had an anniversary of a terrible day. I live in New York City, and not that that gives me any sort of additional insight, but what happened seven years ago didn’t make the people here all agree to live to the same morals and standards, and decide to stop being open to new ideas and discussion. It just didn’t. Because that isn’t what New York is about, and it really isn’t what America or LIFE IN GENERAL is about. If anything, it made us value the fact that our society CAN live with so many differences of opinion. We do a lot of things right. Why do we want to go back on that?
Some of the reasons that we even experienced such a horrible day are rooted in things that we have done in other countries to try to force our values on people who don’t want them, people who don’t have the luxury of having a lot of intangible values. Why can’t we live and let live? Why is that so hard? Sometimes war is necessary, of course, and sometimes there is actually a point to the conflict and rarely, it actually makes a difference in the long term. The war in Iraq is not now and never has been in any of those categories. It is a war that was fought for the profit of oil companies who are sucking this country dry.
Republicans have been using religion, and fear, and racism, and sexism and lies to keep us ignorant and divided. It is to their benefit to prevent progress because that is the only way they can continue to get away with all of the crap they pull economically. Did that tax cut in 2001 benefit you for very long? How about the check you got this year? How far did that go? The reason we are not recovering from what would be a regular cyclical downturn in the economy is because of all the trillions of dollars we have spent in Iraq. And who benefits from that? Don’t kid yourself, because unless you suddenly became the CEO of Halliburton, it ain’t you.
The more they remind you of the ways we are different, the more you forget how we are all really the same. Everyone just wants to live their lives to the fullest, to pursue what makes them happiest. Love, education, friends, a career, whatever it takes. Aren’t you doing that? Am I running into your house telling you what positions you can and can’t have sex in? How many kids you should have? Which God to believe in? How to prepare your dinner? No. Because I don’t care. I’m happily over here doing whatever the hell I want, and I don’t care what you’re doing, as long as you are doing it honestly and happily.
Barack Obama represents positive progress to me. Actual change. And I hope he fulfills his promise. And I hope that you and I and the US and the world benefit from it. I want a better system for health care. I want diplomacy to be the first thing we try, not the first thing we toss out! I want children to get better education because one day they will be adults and will be trying to run things, and trying to compete with people from countries who have already realized how important education is! I want young people to stop getting killed so men like Dick Cheney can line their pockets and buy their wives fur coats, when everyone else in the country is trying to budget around how expensive gas is now!
I guess it comes down to something everyone’s “hero” Ronald Reagan once asked. Are you better off today than you were eight or four years ago? Is anyone you know? If the answer is no, then put your money where your mouth is and vote for Obama.
I’m sure I have plenty of inconsistencies in here, and I welcome comments and discussion. I prefer to exchange ideas and disagreements openly. But I won’t approve anything hate-filled!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Mood Swings
I don't know why, maybe it's hormones, the crap weather, post-vacation blues, whatever. My mood is all over the place this week. I went from incredibly happy on Saturday to completely in the dumps today. Not even about anything specific, just feeling frustrated and blue. It doesn't help that my boss can be a complete harridan at times. Even if it's not directed at me, it's still not fun to be around! I've been thinking about buying this really cute purple coat that's in the window of the shop down the street from my job. Maybe that will perk me up? Blah, what a boring post!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Thirty
So, people have been asking me to write something about turning 30. I don't really know what to say. I guess I made my peace with it (for the most part) several months back so it kind of doesn't really feel like something I need to write about at this point. There was a point where I had intended to spend my 30th birthday hugging a bottle of Patron tequila and getting an ankle tattoo, but after some contemplation that came off a bit desperate and sad. And I don't feel desperate and sad. I've said several times that it feels similar in some ways to turning 18. I feel a little more self-assured, a little more free, a little more like an adult, but those were feelings I'd been having for a while now. Aging--it's what happens to everyone, and really, it's not as if I went from 29 to 50 overnight or anything. I do feel lucky that I live in a time and in a city where being a single 30-year-old woman is pretty normal. I probably would have felt a lot worse if I hadn't made some changes in the last year and a half, and I don't just mean quitting waiting tables.
I have to say that the day itself was very nice, a Sunday, my favorite day of the week. I had a beautiful and delicious brunch at I Coppi with an excellent group of people who also seemed to enjoy themselves, and who were very nice and patient with the somewhat tipsy guest of honor. After brunch a few of us went to see Mamma Mia, which was cute but not great. And after that we went out on the town and had drinks. I made it home about 12 thirty that night, and certainly (OK, side note, someone just walked by my window wearing only body paint and a white thong--I don't know, just wanted to put this post in context for you all) had a full day. So thanks to everyone who shared it with me, and thanks to everyone who couldn't be here but who called, sent gifts, cards, MySpace and Facebook comments, etc. I mean, it's great that we have so many forms of communication now, there's really no excuse for not acknowledging your friends' big days. I need to be better about it myself.
I should also thank God or Mother Nature or Science or Satan or whoever the fuck decided to remind me that morning that I am still a woman. You really made my day!
And thanks to me, for being me and loving me and buying me some lovely gifts for myself. I love you, me! Hee hee.
P.S Recent celebrity sightings: Martha Plimpton; Albert Hammond, Jr. and his girlfriend Agyness Deyn.
I have to say that the day itself was very nice, a Sunday, my favorite day of the week. I had a beautiful and delicious brunch at I Coppi with an excellent group of people who also seemed to enjoy themselves, and who were very nice and patient with the somewhat tipsy guest of honor. After brunch a few of us went to see Mamma Mia, which was cute but not great. And after that we went out on the town and had drinks. I made it home about 12 thirty that night, and certainly (OK, side note, someone just walked by my window wearing only body paint and a white thong--I don't know, just wanted to put this post in context for you all) had a full day. So thanks to everyone who shared it with me, and thanks to everyone who couldn't be here but who called, sent gifts, cards, MySpace and Facebook comments, etc. I mean, it's great that we have so many forms of communication now, there's really no excuse for not acknowledging your friends' big days. I need to be better about it myself.
I should also thank God or Mother Nature or Science or Satan or whoever the fuck decided to remind me that morning that I am still a woman. You really made my day!
And thanks to me, for being me and loving me and buying me some lovely gifts for myself. I love you, me! Hee hee.
P.S Recent celebrity sightings: Martha Plimpton; Albert Hammond, Jr. and his girlfriend Agyness Deyn.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Boy Meets God; Boy Falls In Love; God Isn't Real
Okay, so maybe it's a little more, Boy Meets God; Boy Falls In Love; Boy Becomes Disillusioned and Withdrawn When Forced to Confront the Harshness of Living; Boy Decides God Isn't Real and/or Has Forsaken Him; Boy Comes to Terms With the Fact That You Have No Way of Knowing, But That Life Requires Living.
Of what do I speak? I finally watched Ingmar Bergman's Winter Light last night, after it had been sitting on my coffee table for about six months. It's the second in the Trilogy I wrote about several months back.
Although it is much slower and heavier than Through A Glass Darkly, I actually liked it more. It's the story of a (Protestant) clergyman who, after experiencing war and death, ends up feeling cut off and abandoned by God, no longer sure if God even exists, and unable to be an effective shepherd and counselor to his congregation. The black and white film truly enhances this work, acting as a bleak backdrop of despair and lifelessness. There is plenty of classic Bergman dialogue; here is an amazing example:
Priest: If there is no God, would it really make any difference? Life would become understandable. What a relief. And thus death would be a snuffing out of life. The dissolution of body and soul. Cruelty, loneliness and fear--all these things would be straightforward and transparent. Suffering is incomprehensbile, so it needs no explanation. There is no creator. No sustainer of life. No design. God--why have you abandoned me?
He doesn't want to believe this. He wants what so many of the ultra-religious truly want--to feel special in God's eyes, to feel blessed, to feel pride and arrogance at "knowing" the answers.
Not to go off on a tangent here, but I definitely hit my spiritual crisis at around the age of 15 when a lot of things in my life sucked and several people in my family died. I couldn't understand what kind of God would allow or cause these events. The way I eventually reconciled this was to sort of decide that if there even is a God in the Judeo-Christian sense of the concept, it is the God of the Deists. The clockmaker who set the world in motion but does not interfere. Maybe there are reasons for life's difficulties, maybe not. Either way, at the very least the bad times allow us to appreciate the good times that much more. So people die--without death, what would be the point of life?
Anyway, I think this falls in line with the ideas espoused in the film. I'll wrap up with this brilliant monologue:
Parishioner: The passion of Christ, his suffering [referring to the beatings/indignities Christ suffered on the way to his execution, as depicted in the Mel Gibson film of the same name]. Wouldn't you say the focus on his suffering is all wrong?.....This emphasis on physical pain.....I feel he was tormented far worse on another level. Maybe I've got it all wrong. But just think of Gethsemane, Pastor. Christ's disciples fell asleep. They hadn't understood the meaning of the last supper or anything. And when the servants of the law appeared, they ran away, and Peter denied him. Christ had known his disciples for three years. They'd lived together day in and day out, but they never grasped what he meant. They abandoned him, down to the last man. He was left all alone. That must have been painful. To realize that no one understands. To be abandoned when you need someone to rely on. That must be excruciatingly painful. But the worst was yet to come. When Jesus was nailed to the cross, and hung there in torment, he cried out, "God, my God. Why has thou forsaken me?" He thought that his heavenly father had abandoned him. He believed everything he'd ever preached was a lie. In the moments before he died, Christ was seized by doubt. Surely that must have been his greatest hardship? God's silence.
Of what do I speak? I finally watched Ingmar Bergman's Winter Light last night, after it had been sitting on my coffee table for about six months. It's the second in the Trilogy I wrote about several months back.
Although it is much slower and heavier than Through A Glass Darkly, I actually liked it more. It's the story of a (Protestant) clergyman who, after experiencing war and death, ends up feeling cut off and abandoned by God, no longer sure if God even exists, and unable to be an effective shepherd and counselor to his congregation. The black and white film truly enhances this work, acting as a bleak backdrop of despair and lifelessness. There is plenty of classic Bergman dialogue; here is an amazing example:
Priest: If there is no God, would it really make any difference? Life would become understandable. What a relief. And thus death would be a snuffing out of life. The dissolution of body and soul. Cruelty, loneliness and fear--all these things would be straightforward and transparent. Suffering is incomprehensbile, so it needs no explanation. There is no creator. No sustainer of life. No design. God--why have you abandoned me?
He doesn't want to believe this. He wants what so many of the ultra-religious truly want--to feel special in God's eyes, to feel blessed, to feel pride and arrogance at "knowing" the answers.
Not to go off on a tangent here, but I definitely hit my spiritual crisis at around the age of 15 when a lot of things in my life sucked and several people in my family died. I couldn't understand what kind of God would allow or cause these events. The way I eventually reconciled this was to sort of decide that if there even is a God in the Judeo-Christian sense of the concept, it is the God of the Deists. The clockmaker who set the world in motion but does not interfere. Maybe there are reasons for life's difficulties, maybe not. Either way, at the very least the bad times allow us to appreciate the good times that much more. So people die--without death, what would be the point of life?
Anyway, I think this falls in line with the ideas espoused in the film. I'll wrap up with this brilliant monologue:
Parishioner: The passion of Christ, his suffering [referring to the beatings/indignities Christ suffered on the way to his execution, as depicted in the Mel Gibson film of the same name]. Wouldn't you say the focus on his suffering is all wrong?.....This emphasis on physical pain.....I feel he was tormented far worse on another level. Maybe I've got it all wrong. But just think of Gethsemane, Pastor. Christ's disciples fell asleep. They hadn't understood the meaning of the last supper or anything. And when the servants of the law appeared, they ran away, and Peter denied him. Christ had known his disciples for three years. They'd lived together day in and day out, but they never grasped what he meant. They abandoned him, down to the last man. He was left all alone. That must have been painful. To realize that no one understands. To be abandoned when you need someone to rely on. That must be excruciatingly painful. But the worst was yet to come. When Jesus was nailed to the cross, and hung there in torment, he cried out, "God, my God. Why has thou forsaken me?" He thought that his heavenly father had abandoned him. He believed everything he'd ever preached was a lie. In the moments before he died, Christ was seized by doubt. Surely that must have been his greatest hardship? God's silence.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Turn Left
Only Who fans would understand this post, and I don't know any in person, but let me just say:
BAD WOLF
Amazing!
BAD WOLF
Amazing!
Friday, June 20, 2008
House On Fire
So, my stepdad burned down the kitchen at my parents' house yesterday. Everything is ruined. They are going to have to re-do the room, buy new plates, silverware, all that kind of stuff and also buy new furniture and mattresses and do some re-upholstering for the rest of the house because the smell doesn't leave fabric. Even their clothes will probably have to get sorted through and seen what can be salvaged. Luckily my Mom and my Grandpa were up in Georgia, so they weren't there to watch it happen. But now they are going to have to go back to Florida sooner than expected, which is too bad because my Mom was planning to take my Grandpa to the new WWII Memorial in Washington, DC next month. AND they aren't going to be able to live in the house for about 6 months, so now they have to find a rental home. I'm still planning to be down there in August for about a week, but now it looks like I will definitely be staying at my Dad's house in Boynton Beach while I am there.
Hopefully, in the future Louie will not start cooking with grease and then walk away and forget about it!
Hopefully, in the future Louie will not start cooking with grease and then walk away and forget about it!
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